I am about to start my 5th week of student teaching. It has gotten better especially since this past week was winter vacation! Well I now have all but the notorious psychology class. Tuesday is my first formal observation by my cooperating teacher & Thursday by my supervisor. I am not too concerned with Tuesdays observation, but Thursday is another story, especially because I have heard nothing but awful things about the guy. But that date might change. So now begins the pleasure of finding a job for the fall.
Part of me is really regretting is regretting going for my masters/certification now even though I know it was the best time to go. I am just really sick of not working. And now the realization that life is on hold until I reach the professional level of certification which will take 5 years assuming I can find a job for this fall. This is defintely bothering me a lot more than Dave, but then again I get bothered more easily.
Both Dave & I are really dreading going to Ohio this summer even though we know we should go since we haven't been since the summer of 2004. It never fails to amaze me that I have managed to get away from Ohio and that life style. My brother is now 29 and his life is still a mess and seems to get worse by the week. Then again my grandmother keeps sending him money even though she won't help anyone else. Personally I don't blame her for not helping anyone but I don't understand why she then helps him, he's certainly not deserving. I think the worst part about it is that I still have to listen to the fall out when it affects my mom. I hate going back there, its a reminder of where I have come from but its sad for me knowning that my 9 1/2 year old brother is already falling into the trap they all fall into. He doesn't seem like he'll make it too far, there is no one in his life to make him realize how important school is and that he doesn't have to live like mom & his dad.
I still occasionally get down about things and I feel that way lately about my family. I feel ok about my life but I think that only adds to it. I always feel guilty being happy knowing they aren't and probably don't know how to get happier. I don't know what else to say about that.