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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Tara's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 17th, 2008
7:30 pm
I think today is the first day I'm willing to admit I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed by work and not knowing what my job is or what my pay actually will be or when my job will be fixed or when my 6 month review will be (was due 8/4). I'm overwhelmed by not knowing whats making my hair fall out or what is making me so tired. I'm overwhelmed by not knowing if I'm depressed or responding in an appropriate manner given every thing going on. I'm overwhelmed by my mom being so sick and so oblivious.
I'm overwhelmed thinking about the way she will die unless she has a heart attack before the cirrhosis can take its toll. I'm petrified she will not live to see Phil graduate from high school, and if she does go before then will he even graduate? I'm overwhelmed by her lack of knowledge and lack of what of knowledge whenever I talk to her. I can't get over how she doesn't want to know and how she doesn't seem to get that she will die. Its all just too much.

Current Mood: worried
Monday, February 11th, 2008
8:44 am
Well today starts week 2 of work. At least I only have 2.5 hours of training today 6 on Friday and 4 on the following Tuesday. Mind you that is for job stuff I don't do but the company requires of everyone (lucky me) the rest of the week I'll be doing my job and training for my actual job. Not to mention I get another TB test today in case the bruise on my left arm is insufficent. But things seem to be going well, I feel like such an adult having a job again lol. Esp. after training is over and I'll work a 40 hour week.
Friday, January 25th, 2008
10:19 am
I finally got a job :-)
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
10:01 am
Well nothing new to report. I have yet to find a job. BOOOOO... Anyhow I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Ashley the fat cat, will be going home today thankfully. The early morning wakeup calls are too much especially at 5am which they have been the past few days. otherwise just a lot of family stuff going on. Hope all is well with everyone else though.
Friday, October 5th, 2007
8:26 pm
Today "Kitty Kitty" aka Bob & Sissy went to the vet then to new homes. So instead we now have Ashley. Lets talk about Ashley for a second here. Picture a very large bowling ball...now add paws...add a tail...add a cat face. You have Ashley. her frame is small, her stomach is not. I sympathize. Ashley currently weighs 23 lbs and needs to get down to 13. The goal for the month for Ashley is 1.5 to 2 lbs. preferably closer to 2 lbs.
So I'm using the bowling ball cat as the email with pics is titled as inspiration. If I have the will power not to feed her I should have the willpower to not feed myself just cause I can. So Ashley and I are now on a diet together. She is so heavy when she moves too much she wheezes! At least I only do that when its really humid or I'm around smokers!
I had an interview at Yale today. it went well, I won't hear next week but the week after. I also expect to hear from Sacred Heart by the end of the week so that didn't happen. Hopefully I'll hear soon!!! Anyhow thats about it. Dave is of course working.
Oh once I get a job I get a portable sirius radio :-)
Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
11:32 am
So I had my interview this morning. The director has been out sick so I met with the other lady in the department. It went great. She and I just seemed to click. She said she was going to tell the director to defintely give me a second interview. The job would be 20 hours a week including 1 Saturday a month. I could pretty much make my own hours. Since I'm a certified teacher I might be able to conduct some of the Saturday seminars as well as a course in the summer which would be additional pay which would be nice.
So on my way home Aetna called my cell phone for a pre-interview for a senior executive assistant. I answered a few questiosn and they forwarded my resume to the hiring manager who will call directly for an interview if they see fit. That job would be full time hour commute but potentially more pay. Emphasis on potential. The range for the position could end up being less per hour than the Sacred Heart job. But time will tell. I'll take whatever interviews I can until I get an offer.

At last things are starting to look up.

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
6:02 pm
Well I have an interview Tuesday morning at a university so I'm excited. Its a part time position but to be honest I think that might be a good thing. I'll give more details afterwards but for now Yay! My bad luck streak might have finally changed.
Sunday, September 9th, 2007
11:00 am
I realized I hadn't posted in here in a while, not that many if any read this. Anyhow I couldn't get a job teaching so now I'm looking for other jobs, its a real downer. Not only did I not get a job I didn't get a single ...... interview. So I'm feeling pretty crappy lately. Add to it that I have no friends. The ones I went to school with are all teaching and I guess after classes were over they didn't want to remain friends despite my many efforts with emailing and such. anyhow that sums everything up. I feel like crap about just about everything.

Thursday, July 12th, 2007
9:05 am
As the July moves along I'm getting more and more frustrated that I have yet to even have a job interview. I know people tell me most hiring occurs the last part of the summer especially in urban areas but I can't stand waiting.
Maybe it is just the waiting part that is bugging me. I haven't been feeling fantastic and now I'm waiting for my blood work to come back. At least today's weather is better which goes a long way to helping my mood. That and me using chewable peptobismo last night settled my stomach for a while at least. Lately there are so many times when I just don't know what to say to myself and ot others. I know this too will pass but in the meantime its just not a great feeling.
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
9:22 am
24 is almost 25 and that's almost 30 that's practically dead.

According to this quote I'm practically dead today :-( Then again I had to do the math to find out how close to old I am.
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
9:06 am
I have come to a few realizations.
1) I'm very bad at updating here
2) Not that much truly goes on in my life
3) Its truly amazing how far I've come considering my family. And unfortunately I don't believe my younger brother will have that opportunity.

So let me explain.
1 & 2) I read LJ almost everyday but I hardly take the time to update probably because not much goes on.
Lately my focus is on the house & finding a job. I am done (completely) with school & student teaching. Now I am just waiting to get my certificate in the mail from the state. And in the meantime I'm applying for jobs. The one so far I really want is at the high school dave graduated from. So here's hoping they call for an interview soon. It really would be lovely.
3)Mom & Phil just went home yesterday. At 10, granted he just turned 10, he really acts more like a 7 year old. The whinning is what really kills me. And Mom gives in. So everytime he wants something she gives in. While they were here for a week, between the two of them they took 5 showers and one bath. All totaled I'd say about a half hour in the shower. Which is especially gross considering he's 10 and a boy gross! While they were here I saw him eat 3 desserts a day minimumum, fried chicken tenders, fried onion rings (at a chinese restaurant when he said he loves chinese!), soda, a little bit of milk, a bowl of strawberries and thats about it. That worried me but she kept letting him eat that way. He threw a fit over EVERYTHING and drove me nuts. He talked non-stop while normal, most 10 year olds don't say I know after you ask their questions.
We went to New York one day, Granted there was a huge parade/festival we weren't expecting but when we got to the Museum of Natural History with dinosaurs which supposedly he loves, we were only there for an hour and most of that was downstairs. He raced through the dinosaurs, I really don't understand. At Central Park Zoo he wouldn't spend more than a minute at any animal and got mad when Dave & I wanted to look at the Penguins for a few minutes. I sincerely doubt he got much out of his visit. I was hoping he would find there is a different way of living but I don't think that happened. He wouldn't even come in the house to go to the bathroom if Mom & I were on the deck, she had to come into the house. Now if you stand at the corner of the deck you can see into the bathroom! And it was the middle of the day. then while playing dominoes he couldn't add, he's going into the fifth grade. (Lord help his teacher)
Ok now I'm done complaining. I love my mom & brother but I can't get over his behavior.
So today I am washing all the bed linens and such especially considering the lack of showers & the smell of smoke that accompanied them. I am also trying to return my house to its normal smell with candles in every room. Now to go switch the laundry and do the dishes. Thank god for Vermont in a few days! I think both Dave & I really need the vacation!


Current Mood: relieved
Friday, May 25th, 2007
10:16 am
Am I the only person who finds its too hot too quick? And does anyone know somewhere where the temp is always between 55 and 75? thats my comfort level.
Sunday, March 11th, 2007
4:08 pm
Easter Seals
Dear Friends and Family,

I'm participating in Easter Seals Walk With Me Mystic 2007, and as part of it, I've accepted a fund-raising challenge. Easter Seals is an amazing organization that provides services to children and adults with disabilities and other special needs and support to their families.

Please help support me in this important effort by contributing generously to Easter Seals. Your tax-deductible contribution will provide opportunities for people with disabilities to live with equality, dignity and increased independence.

It’s fast and easy to make your donation online. Just go to my personal Walk With Me Web page at http://www.easterseals.com/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1772&px=1980899.

If you prefer to donate by postal mail:
Make check payable to: Easter Seals
Mail to: Tara Shepherd
11 Bungay Terrace
Seymour, CT 06483-2510

More information about Easter Seals and its mission of hope and inclusion can be found at http://www.walkwithme.org/easterseals.

Whatever gift you can give will help -- it all adds up! Thank you so much in advance for your support -- I appreciate it and I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Thank you,

Tara Shepherd
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
11:57 am
Long time no Update
Well as always I have gone a while without updating here. Partly because not a whole heck of a lot has gone on.
I am about to start my 5th week of student teaching. It has gotten better especially since this past week was winter vacation! Well I now have all but the notorious psychology class. Tuesday is my first formal observation by my cooperating teacher & Thursday by my supervisor. I am not too concerned with Tuesdays observation, but Thursday is another story, especially because I have heard nothing but awful things about the guy. But that date might change. So now begins the pleasure of finding a job for the fall.
Part of me is really regretting is regretting going for my masters/certification now even though I know it was the best time to go. I am just really sick of not working. And now the realization that life is on hold until I reach the professional level of certification which will take 5 years assuming I can find a job for this fall. This is defintely bothering me a lot more than Dave, but then again I get bothered more easily.
Both Dave & I are really dreading going to Ohio this summer even though we know we should go since we haven't been since the summer of 2004. It never fails to amaze me that I have managed to get away from Ohio and that life style. My brother is now 29 and his life is still a mess and seems to get worse by the week. Then again my grandmother keeps sending him money even though she won't help anyone else. Personally I don't blame her for not helping anyone but I don't understand why she then helps him, he's certainly not deserving. I think the worst part about it is that I still have to listen to the fall out when it affects my mom. I hate going back there, its a reminder of where I have come from but its sad for me knowning that my 9 1/2 year old brother is already falling into the trap they all fall into. He doesn't seem like he'll make it too far, there is no one in his life to make him realize how important school is and that he doesn't have to live like mom & his dad.
I still occasionally get down about things and I feel that way lately about my family. I feel ok about my life but I think that only adds to it. I always feel guilty being happy knowing they aren't and probably don't know how to get happier. I don't know what else to say about that.

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
3:45 pm
Well I realized I haven't posted in here for a long time and that some people might actually care to know what is going on. I graduated on Saturday with my masters. Dave just has to hang my diploma with our others tomorrow. I have an all day seminar tomorrow concerning student teaching which begins on Monday.
I am going to be teaching at Metropolitan Business Academy in New Haven. Its a realtively new and small magnet school with only 215 kids this year, but enrollment is increasing up to 400 kids in the next year and a half when the school will move into a brand new building. So I'm hoping I do well and am offered a job but only time will tell. I will be teaching 4 classes, 2 classes of US History 1 which starts after my first week and 2 classes of US History 2. My cooperating teacher also teaches a psychology class that I will teach occasionally but the students are rather rambuctious in that class so she won't hand it over to me. Which is just fine and dandy by me, 2 preps is plenty. I believe I don't have to be there if there isn't a class, so on A day's I should be done at 12:30 and B days at 2. But psychology is her last class on B days so I'm not sure about those days.
Anyway things are going great around here. We're settled in the house for now, come spring we have a lot of work to do outside but the inside is done with the exception of painting the guest room and eventually the kitchen but that is a long ways off. I am on a quest to find a corner desk that I like because I know my step-mom wants the table I use for a desk back but so far I haven't had any luck with that. But thats minor stuff nothing major by any stretch of the imagination.
We are still hoping to go to California in April but the flights have been too expensive thus far, so that's not looking to good but who knows. Maybe if we dont' make it out there my grandma and Ray will come and visit us.

Current Mood: content
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
3:16 pm
Wow long time no post
Well I guess it has been a long time since I posted anything. Time has a way of getting away.

1) School- I have 16 actual classes and a week of turning in papers, portfolios and filling out evaluations left and then I have my masters. I applied for graduation and should be graduating on January 13th. However my last class is December 7th. And I have to take the PLT on November 18th but that is a pre-req for certification not graduation and I'm not worried about passing it.

2) House- Well we have the new roof, it looks nice and it doesn't leak, always a good thing! We have 2 trees and 21 yews that were supposed to be removed on Monday but the tree guy didn't show so now that should be done on Friday or Saturday depending on the weather, I won't hold my breathe. Both bathrooms have now been redone with the exception of paint in the downstairs bathroom but I think that will be done on Friday. We also have the new hood above the stove up. So my latest idea is perhaps painting the ktichen cabinets white instead of replacing them and then just getting a similar set for the opposite wall, but I haven't fully decided on this option. We also got a sideboard for behind the couch for $95.50 instead of the $299. they normally ask for it. The basement is slowly being organized thanks to some new shelves as well. However the dehumidifier leaked all over the one part of the basement and into the garage and we are now waiting for that to dry out, I guess we need to get a new one. Otherwise everything but the guest room is done.

3) Family- Not to much new here. We're thinking about going to California next summer to see my grandma and Dave's aunt & uncle but we haven't decided anything. And since we haven't been to ohio in 2 years I guess we should go this year either in the spring or summer. The problem with Ohio is that its my family, nuff said if you know me! My mom is finally back in her house after 2 months in a hotel for a minor house fire that did more smoke damage than anything. There's a nice long story that involves some fraud.

Well that's about it. I've been staying busy with school and the house. I imagine that will always be the case since even after I get my masters I have to student teach and then instead of me going to school to stay busy I'll be teaching in one and staying busy ;-)

Current Mood: chipper
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
3:23 pm
Classes start this evening. Well yesterday but I don't have a Tuesday class so for me they start today. So my schedule
Mondays- Educational Psychology with Dr. Soraes--- Pro- she's the epitomy of a crazy prof. But she's cool. Con- She's ALWAYS late!
Tuesdays- no class Dave has work though
Wednesdays- Teaching Strategies in Social Studies with Dr. Pepin-- Pro- She's very informative and always on time Con- She will never let us out a minute early and if you cross to her bad side you repeat the course.
Thursdays- Human Growth & Development Pro-- My friend Louise is in this class. Con-- They changed the course so now I have to learn about little kids instead of just the ones I'll be teaching which means I'm stuck with elementary people who talk to all of us as if we are kindergardeners.
Fridays- No class, Dave doesn't have work
Saturdays- Multicultural Issues Two Saturdays I have class from 9-3:30. Its supposed to be easy and the profs are allegedly cool.
Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
10:29 am
Well its been a while since I updated here. I tried to a little while ago but my computer decided to delete the whole thing and I did not feel like retyping it all. Anyhow Dave & I are settled into our house. There are still some boxes here and there but without bookshelves we can only do so much. There are also still a few projects left but nothing too major on our behalf. That being said we are supposed to get the new roof put on sometime later this month begining of October, I think we are both (and our bank account) hoping its October. Likewise we have a giant Oak tree that needs to be taken down. But for projects requiring our labor we have 22 ugly pine trees to take out, the downstairs bathroom still needs new lights, vanity, & mirror as well as new caulking in the tub. Those are the things we're going to tackle this year at least.
In other news my last trimester of classes begins today but I don't have class until tomorrow. I have human growth and development on Thursdays, Educational Psychology on Mondays, and Teaching Strategies in Social Studies on Wednesday. In addition I have 2 credits by arrangement including a lovely portfolio and a class that is 2 Saturdays. The stinky part of this schedule is that I have class on Thursday when Dave does not typically work. And the books are no cheaper online so I have to spend a great deal of money at the bookstore.
I am now an employee of the city of Shelton. However, and thankfully, they haven't called me to substiute yet. I was offered a position I could not accept because I have to student teach in the spring. But they seem very eager to have me student teach at their middle school and hopefully they will have an opening in the fall for me to be a "real" teacher.
For me that's about it. But in family news my mom's house caught fire and they have been in a hotel for a little over a week now and will be for at least the rest of September. The damage was mostly limited to their dinning room however the way their house is everything needs to be cleaned and such. Though I should point out that it needed to be cleaned to begin with!

That's about it for me. I'm really hit or miss depending on if I get called in to teach or not. But otherwise Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays I'm typically around even if I'm not at the computer.
Friday, July 28th, 2006
3:47 pm
Yay our closing is all set for Monday afternoon. Boo that its not in the morning but oh well. And I have the best grandma ever, she sent me a mini-library on plants so to help with my garden next spring :-D!!! She's the best.
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
3:19 pm
Well I haven't written much lately. The closing for the house is in a week! We're very excited and anxious. I cannot wait to get out of this apartment and be done with the horrible people that run this complex! Outside of that not too much going on.
I'm annoyed with UNH they decided that the education department should start a week before the rest of the university! And then to add to it they pushed our classes from 5 to 5:30 so now we are in class even later. The rest of the grad. classes start at 5:30 so we're going ot have to an even harder time parking.
Thats really about it. I'm enjoying the last week of semi-calm because once we close I'm going to be very busy and then by the time things settle at the house classes begin! I can't wait for this trimester to be over! 2/3 the way done! YAY!
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